found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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