$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
