I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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