Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
