Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Who died my cat blue again?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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