you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
