Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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