Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
