I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
