ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
