Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
