As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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