All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
