Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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