They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
