ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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