I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
two words: eviction party
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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