never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
