So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
