Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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