Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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