So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My Sexting was not on an AP level
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
