lets start a swedish sibling band together
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
