she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
