You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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