You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
