You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
