I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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