He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
