office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
babies were throwing up all over the place
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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