Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
