There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize