CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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