Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
