He is such a slut. More and more my type.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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