If i come over, it means nothing
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
