also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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