I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
