ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
