My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
