During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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