So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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