He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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