You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
