I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
