what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
