Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
