I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
