My cat gives me a boner
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize