i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
