Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
