I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
