You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
