Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
