oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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