the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
