remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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