you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
