A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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