return my video game
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
