i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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