Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
