So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
