I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize