This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
