i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize