just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
