I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
