she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It was like getting head from an anaconda
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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