Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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